Since the introduction of social media into our culture, it has become much easier to observe the emotions, sentiments, and attitudes of those we encounter.
I have spent a great deal of time pondering the topic of love in our culture. Sadly, though it is espoused, it is seldom genuine, seldom unconditional, nor practiced with equity.
Through the years we have heard and observed many definitions of what love is, but it is still widely accepted that the Bible contains the standard of what true love means. Even if you are not a Bible-believing person, the wisdom contained in first Corinthian‘s 13 is irrefutable when considering a foundational guideline for true love:
“4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
I would be very surprised if anyone from any walk of life or read this and disagree with it. My point is, though we all seek love and to be loving, we often miss the mark.
Spend any time at all reading on the Internet, watching the news, etc., and though many things are done in the name of love, there is also a strong thread of hatred. Much of this hatred, I would submit, is born from an emotional distaste for anything that does not agree with our point of view. Arguably we see it in some very prominent religious groups that have zero tolerance for anyone that does not believe the way they do. We observe hatred “across the aisle” in politics. Even With the “me too” aspects emerging in our culture, we seek to destroy other human beings that may or may not deserve judgment or penalty. It is the sensation and groundswell of hatred, and often not in the name of justice, that we pursue to “ make an example” of someone.
Please understand that this is not an attempt to exonerate someone who deserves judgment by the extent of the law, but merely to point out that one aspect of hatred in our culture often becomes a witch-hunt.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
In my opinion, what this alludes to, we are all by nature selfish in that we seek our own comfort and pleasure before others when in fact true love is exactly the opposite! We are obsessed with our own self-care and comfort. We’ve fooled ourselves into thinking that we must be happy at all costs and then if we are not happy, we’re not doing something right or we are being treated poorly.
Real, genuine love requires some sacrifice. And requires us to give ourselves even when it hurts. It means to treat all with equity. We have all heard the stories in the wake of tragic events like with Charleston Church shootings… where family members of murder victims found it in their hearts to forgive the assailant. That’s love. They did not ask for justice to be waived, but simply found in their hearts a way to love the human in spite of their personal hurt.
In order to love the way we should, it takes practice. We have to daily check ourselves and be sure we are not drinking the Kool-Aid of hatred. Read the verses from 1 Corinthians above, again and again. Write it on your heart. Practice it. Teach others.
Just as hatred can spiral out of control, so can love. True love.